I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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