Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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