He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
