just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
