it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I lost the right to judge tonight
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
