Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
