it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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