So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
