I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
