In the future we'll all be gay
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Best friends brother. Beat that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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