You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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