it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
