I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
