My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he quoted the bible to break up with me
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
whose ass print is on the piano?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Randomize
