This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
