he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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