it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I love you.
Bad choice
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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