You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
