dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
