That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
