Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
