So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
