Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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