i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
