He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
