I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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