as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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