Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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