Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
