I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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