New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
