Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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