He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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