i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Randomize
