have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
