I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
