I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
