Christians are straight up FREAKS
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
