How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
