i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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