Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
