remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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