There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
