he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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