Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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