Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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