I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
