Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
