BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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