no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
