im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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