all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
